This too shall pass

     I had my first deployment breakdown today. I sat on my front steps and just cried with my face in my hands staring at your stupid car while our daughter was napping. I'm not quite sure where it came from, I just broke. I was angry for so many minor things, I was jealous of other wives getting emails, other friends having their husbands home, mothers who did not have to say "no baby dada isn't coming home for a while." It finally hit me.. this is our life right now.

 

 I always forget how long it takes to readjust since our life is always constantly changing.. gone 2 weeks home 2 weeks.That's how I feel like our life has been the past year; it's pretty close. It's when the end isn't in sight that gets you. When your countdown app is less than 10% and you think "dear god I'm not going to make it" When time stands still while you pray for it to sped up 

    Then I remind myself of each time you have left. Boot camp seems like ages ago, and in ways it is. We were just kids then, having no idea what our future was going to be. I think about every time we have said our "see you laters" and "I'll be here waiting" I get so mad thinking about all the things we have missed as a couple, you are missing as a dad, Scarlett is going to miss. But then I remember the nights we are truly happy and excited to stay in and watch cartoons, take family walks, and how appreciative I am to get an email every once in a while (cough cough).Our home is filled with love and strength. I have to keep reminding myself we have done this before, we can do this again.