Life turns into this stop watch, where days pass like seconds and you wish you could push the button and make it stop. You try not to count the days, but you always have the number in the back of your mind. First it's a month left, then weeks, then single digits days, and then hours. You can drive yourself crazy by doing that. I know, I have. And I'm pretty good at math.. times like this I wish I wasn't.
You promise things are going to be "normal" until he leaves but the thing is.. things are no longer normal. You feel guilty for the fight over household chores. You get angry too easily that he forgot to take the trash out but that's not the real issue bothering you. You get jealous when he hangs out with the guys once a week, which he has been doing ALL along, but now time is precious and you want it all to be yours. The whole time wondering "What am I going to do when he's gone?!" Because you literally have no idea how you are going to react and that is one of your biggest fears.
You know deployment is coming you have known all along its just that now it's knocking at your door. So you do what you have to do. You take it one day at at time, and if you can't do that you take it one hour and a time, and if you can't do that "Inhale, exhale" you take it one breath at a time. Because deployment may be coming BUT it's not here quite yet!
