"I'm okay, I'm just tired"

 If writing is my way of telling my story, I have not been doing a very good job lately! I have been very busy truthfully, but I have also been avoiding my blog. I have been up and down and all over the place. I recently started running again (consistently) and that seems to help. Here's the thing, I miss my REAL friends, my family, and my support system! I miss being able to be myself 100% without worrying about the consequences(whether it will turn up on some Navy wife website). I don't know when I became such a private person, but it's hard to open up to new people and trust them. I miss home A LOT! I miss who I was. I used to think that if I could be the best friend to everyone around me and help them find the answers to their problems, maybe I could find my own.

I always said if I could have an superpower it would be reading people's minds. I wonder if it's because I keep so much hidden from people.I wonder how many other people do the same. Sometimes I wish people would just look at me and automatically know what was wrong. I know that is an unrealistic wish, but hey a girl can dream. I wish someone would look behind all the sarcastic remarks I make (which are pretty funny) and just ask me, "What is wrong Sara" or "What are you so afraid of?" Maybe the act of someone reaching out to me instead of the other way around would help me find some comfort. I am just sick of telling the world I am "okay" or "fine" or my go to line is "tired!" Quite frankly, I am sick of all of those!

So this is my next step of opening up, of trying to tell "MY" story, trying to find my own strength and my own answers. Strength can be misleading though. And sometimes crying and showing all your raw emotions are strengths, where hiding them.covering them up, and dismissing them are weaknesses. I guess knowing when to open up and be vulnerable is an appealing trait... I also think I have some things to work on. I think this is good for now :)